Vulnerability Post “plus when your friends hang out with you, their intuition grows more”
I hope you all having a beautiful Friday & it has been filled with moments that brought a smile to your face or a moment to your heart that spilled with joy.
This is hard to say, but I had a friend with me last night. We were laughing until the friend noticed something was wrong & grabbed & held me & wouldn’t let go as much as I kept saying I’m fine, I’m fine let go, the friend wouldn’t let go as my friend said there is something wrong. I struggled because the feelings started to surface & the friend said let it out let it go trust me. I kept saying it’s nothing let it go until the tears came & I stopped struggling & fighting my friend. I finally admitted to my friend that I’m in big trouble that I can’t seem to figure out how to get out of.
I can’t find a way out & I cried & told someone the full truth, someone I trust. I admitted my truth that I have been hiding.
I’m beyond grateful that my friend noticed & didn’t let go of me as I have a shield expect this friend saw right through it & picked something up.
When I finally woke up this morning I felt good that I expressed it but as time went on I felt like a failure, crushed & alone & I thought of my dad.
As my dad visited me during my dreams telling me it’s not too late, you can change your mind, keep going forward & I was sitting with him around a table & he showed me faces & he said you know I watch you, your brother & your mom & you have gone through so much & I see you hurting because of this challenge, but there is time to change your mind, there is always time to see these new beautiful moments that you have been experiencing at the moment that have been making you laugh non stop & being spontaneous, making you happier than you ever believed could be possible and imagined this is for you. What has been coming to you & still is coming for you, trust & believe that this is what is going to blossom in your life now this is meant for you, you meant to be in this world to shine that light as I once touched your face as I left & said you can see, trust that you can see the truth as there is time.
Don’t push or resist your destiny, don’t resist those that are in your life that make you feel your heart that you once lost.
I woke up, remembering the letter he wrote while sitting at the table. I’ve been thinking about this all day while at work & I finally sat down to write. I’ve been crying out for my dad everyday now coz i’m happy & I’m trapped & I need a sign to be free from this bullshit of a challenge as I don’t know how to get out from it.
What I’m saying is that I'm not perfect I have a BIG Problem & I don’t have the answer to find a way out for me & my kids. Why am I sharing while because every person in this world has something in their lives that they aren’t expressing because of fear, guilt, shame, failure, blame, or fear of being judged or if they express the people in their lives will just walk away from them.
The truth is beautiful souls I can tell you now when you do open you’ll find out who will stay & who doesn’t & I can tell you this from experience, but the thing is you're not meant to sacrifice who you are to satisfy others you all too beautiful to allow your light to dim, because others aren’t ready. As they mentioned on Monday Don’t sacrifice yourself, your movement of flow.
I love you all so much. My dad was right my heart was lost & this is the first time in years that I’ve found it. My heart got lost the year 2001 when he passed & I didn’t have a reason for it to be found. Every healer, lightworker this year has pointed at my heart which is funny to think about & he just brought the final piece of my puzzle.
#vulnerable #moments #life #choice #heart #heartcentre #sacrifice #fear #judgment #trust #believe #faith #express #dad #imissyou #trapped #freedom #tears #truefriends #death #embrace
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